I was served worse food at a wedding because I’m not as wealthy --[Reported by Umva mag]

Wedding food can run the gamut of good, bad and ugly, but you can at least find comfort in the fact that the other guests are all in the same boat.

Normally, anyway.

Rather than looking to a particular cuisine or good old Pinterest for wedding breakfast ideas, this couple apparently got their inspiration from airlines, grouping attendees on wealth and offering them different meals and drinks as a result.

On Reddit’s r/weddingshaming page, a guest at this nuptials (dubbed ‘tacky’ by users) going by gew114 described the experience, which started with a cocktail hour ‘in the blazing sun, with one open bar and one bartender for about 150 guests.’

Despite the day being billed as ‘no expenses spared’ – paid for by the groom’s well off family but fully planned by the couple – there were no hors d’oeuvres served, with a three-hour wait for the seven-course meal.

As it was buffet-style, and gew114 was sat near the back of the venue, by the time their table got to the ‘main’, only four slices of steak were left for eight people.

‘Wine bottles were left at each table and there was no bar during dinner, which was fine,’ they wrote.

‘However, we slowly started to realize that the “very wealthy” guests at the wedding had been giving a lot more and high end wine bottles, scotch, tequila. And a plethora more food.’

To top it all off, they said: ‘At the end of the night there was no dessert, just a table of Oreo boxes and cut up apple slices.’

The groom’s mother was left in tears at the way some guests had been treated at the reception, but it seems his father had a hand in the disparity, apparently advising staff to ‘take “special care” of certain tables’ (namely the ones where his powerful, high net worth friends were) and ensure they were given wine from his personal collection.

Some questioned the poster’s recollection of the event, but they assured it was ‘very noticeable when some people had to ration asparagus and others had plentiful,’ and the ‘stark difference’ in treatment between tables made it ‘clear who was catered for and who wasn’t.’

It wasn’t a budget concern either, as gew114 explained that the groom’s siblings’ weddings had been lavish affairs featuring private planes, multiple open bars, and the likes of seafood stations with lobster, oyster, crabs and sushi for guests to enjoy.

In the comments, multiple users surmised the newlyweds scrimped on the catering and ‘pocketed the difference’, while topsidersandsunshine – who has worked in the wedding industry – said: ‘You wouldn’t believe how often couples take their parents’ money and then their parents find out at the wedding that they spent it on themselves and not the wedding.’

And although this exact scenario is rare, a number of people had similar experiences to share, including Interesting-Read-245 who wrote: ‘I’ve been to these rich wealthy weddings and can’t believe how cheap they are regarding food.’

MNConcerto added: ‘I have heard this several times and the new thing of different menus for different people like some folks get the good stuff and others get crap?Oh hell no.

‘If you can’t afford it, pare down, if you don’t if someone don’t invite them.’

Many agreed with this sentiment, with the wedding being described as ‘disgraceful’, ‘bizarre’, and ‘unacceptable’.

According to Rebecca Brennan-Brown, founder of Get Wed, ‘A lot of wedding “etiquette” and acceptable stances are dictated by generation: for example, leaving the table before dessert to have a chat with your mates is probably completely acceptable to you if you’re in your 30s, but utterly unacceptable if you’re above 50.’

However, she says, ‘there are some faux pas that carry the same gravitas no matter your age.’

Here, she reveals the biggest dos and don’ts for your big day – and some if you’re attending one.

Don’t scrimp on food and drink

Rebecca tells Metro that leaving guests ‘guests cold, wet, hungry or thirsty’ is ‘the cardinal wedding sin and the quickest way to a bad vibe.’

If you’re on a budget, cut down your guest list or try to make savings elsewhere. No one will remember if you had fancy embossed invitations or massive bouquets that cost a fortune, but they’ll never forget if they weren’t fed or watered.

Don’t have a super strict dress code

‘It’s all the rage at the moment to have a specific colour palette, but quite frankly, a party that is that specific on your dress doesn’t sound very fun,’ says Rebecca.

‘It’s a costly exercise for guests and not worth it for the sake of a cohesive picture.’

Requests for a pop of a certain colour or a wider theme which people can dress to without buying a whole new outfit might pass; just don’t go too niche or be upset if your guests don’t adhere.

Don’t heckle speeches

This is something Rebecca has seen a lot in her career, and she warns guests and newlyweds alike: ‘No matter how funny you think you’re being, I promise you, the rest of the room is dying inside.’

She also adds: ‘While we’re on that, if you’re giving the speech and you think something is risky, don’t say it. It’s not worth it.’

Do be careful when you cut the cake

Exercise caution with the cake, as it’s a big investment that can all fall apart (literally) if you’re heavy-handed.

‘We’ve recently have one topple from a cake cutting that was a bit too passionate,’ says Rebecca.

Do keep your venues close together

Your aim when planning a wedding is to keep spirits up throughout the day – and according to Rebecca, location has a big part to play here.

‘Driving an hour or more between the ceremony and reception venue is such a pain for everyone involved and a total mood killer,’ she says.

Do put your phone away

Rebecca implores wedding guests to ‘please!’ switch off devices during a ceremony.

When a couple ask you not to take pictures for the ‘gram, it’s not to spoil your fun.

‘The amount of professional photos that are completely ruined by iPhones in the shot is appalling,’ says the events planned. ‘The couple have probably paid thousands for their photo or video team, let them do their jobs!’

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