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My friend didn’t congratulate me on my new job — so I’m ditching her wedding --[Reported by Umva mag]

'You blame her for being all about herself when you're being all about yourself too.'

Sep 19, 2024 - 19:41

My friend didn’t congratulate me on my new job — so I’m ditching her wedding --[Reported by Umva mag]

Bride shunning bridesmaid on top of pink background — Who is in the right? (Picture: Getty)

Life is full of milestones, and they all deserve to be celebrated.

But one woman has got rather upset, after feeling like her friend wasn’t excited enough when she landed a new job.

Taking to Reddit, the poster, from Spain, explained that she was thrilled to get a a new job, in a new city.

It’s a coveted position, and one she expects to hold onto for the rest of her life.

But when she told her bff, who is also a bride-to-be about the new role, she didn’t get the congratulations she hoped for.

The woman, who was due to be Maid of Honour, explained: ‘When I told her… the only thing she said is “When are you leaving? Can you still come to my wedding?” No congratulations, no, “I’m happy for you”, nothing.’

Wedding, bride and bridesmaids with a woman and her friends getting ready for a marriage ceremony or celebration event. Love, romance and tradition with a young female and her friend group inside — The woman was one of 10 guests, and the Maid of Honour (Picture Getty Images)

She went on to say that her best friend was having a small wedding so the poster assumed it would be a casual affair. She even writes about the wedding in quotation marks, suggesting she was mocking the idea of it being a ‘proper’ event.

‘It wasn’t meant to be a regular wedding but more of an elopement kind of thing,’ she wrote.

‘Her, the groom, me (as a maid of honour) and a best man, plus a few close family member, about 10 people in total, and it was planned for early November.

‘I say “wedding” like that… because there will be no invites, no “save the date”, no ceremony, no walk down the aisle, just courthouse and dinner.

‘I must add, two weeks ago, I talked to her to know where were we having dinner for her wedding, and she said she didn’t have anything planned yet, let alone booked.’

The poster feels the bride acted as though she didn’t care about the new job, and she’s so angry, she’s decided not to attend the wedding.

How to tell if your friend doesn't like you

Psychologist Emma Kenny shares the tell-tale signs that reveal if a friend is secretly hating on you.

Whenever anything good happens to you, they can’t seem to be happy for you, or they’re opposed to celebrating.
You find out that they’ve been talking about you behind your back.
They try to humiliate you in front of other people or always make you the punchline of their jokes.
They appear to derive pleasure in making fun of you.
They try to exploit you. They may force you to sacrifice other plans to spend time with them, and use phrases like, ‘if you were a good friend, you’d do XYZ.’
They will try to isolate you from other people in the friendship group – perhaps by spreading rumours – while simultaneously building bridges and making their own circle wider.
They try to stop you from doing things that could be good for you, such as applying for a promotion at work.
If they seem envious or jealous of you – these are not the traits of a good friend.

‘Had she told me she had everything booked and that she really needed my RSVP, I would’ve understood her answer, but in that context, I’ve decided that if the only thing she cares about is her and her wedding, and she can’t be happy for me, I’m not going to the wedding.’

Redditors, however, did not agree with the poster. They pointed out that being Maid of Honour in such a small wedding was clearly a big deal.

One person, @analyst19 wrote: ‘It’s rude that she didn’t congratulate your for your job, but in your post you’re denigrating her wedding by putting it in quotes. It’s clear you were to play an important role that day and you must be close friends if you’re the maid of honour and one of just 10 guests.’

A second, @houseonpost, added: ‘For some weird reason you are interpreting her comment negatively. Her comment could easily be interpreted as “You are very important to me and I really hope you can still attend an important event to me. You are one of only 10 people invited and I’d really like you be there”. Congratulations on your new job.’

Another said: ‘Your friend gave you a special place of honor. It’s normal that that wedding is a huge focus of hers right now.

‘Unless you physically cannot make it to the wedding due to having relocated, it seems petty to not go.’

Meanwhile, @IamIrene felt the poster was being a bit of a drama queen: ‘Sounds a little over-reactive to me. You blame her for being all about herself when you are being all about yourself too.

Happy mid aged business woman manager handshaking at office meeting. — The poster said it was a prestigious job she had to do several tests for (Picture: Getty Images)

‘You don’t have to go because an invite is not a mandate, however, if you aren’t going in retaliation for her not being happy for you about your job, then absolutely. You’re the a**hole.’

And, while others did feel the friend should have been more supportive, it didn’t warrant declining a wedding event: ‘Agree that neglecting to congratulate you was inconsiderate of her.

‘I don’t see why you have to bail on her wedding just because she had a moment of selfishness. If there had been a long pattern of this behavior, I might be more understanding, but this knee-jerk reaction seems petty to me.’

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