Doctors told me to come back in 4 days – staying put saved my life --[Reported by Umva mag]

When I was 35, my husband and I started trying for a third baby.

Fortunately, I fell pregnant quickly and we were excited to become a family of five.

But everything changed one night when I started bleeding and experiencing extreme pain on the left side of my body.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was having an ectopic pregnancy. And if I hadn’t stood my ground and insisted that doctors listen to me, no one else would have known until it was too late – I was at real risk of dying.

One night in November 2019, a sudden popping sensation in the left side of my body while I was exercising shocked me. 

I was around eight and a half weeks along; I had found out I was expecting just two weeks earlier. 

Assuming I might have just overdone it, I decided not to push myself any more.

But when I went to the bathroom, I was bleeding – the blood was dark brown, which suggested it had been there for a while. 

In my gut I knew straight away that there was something wrong, but I had a big bleed when I was pregnant with my daughter who is my second child, which ended up being normal, so I dismissed it.

I tried to continue as normal. I wanted the baby too badly to admit the truth to myself. 

However, throughout that evening, my pain grew more intense. I couldn’t sit comfortably and when I tried to walk, I hobbled along like a penguin. So I eventually went to A&E.

It was a busy night there and though the pain was excruciating – it felt like a balloon was filling up inside wanting to burst – after being triaged I sat quietly, for hours.

I guess because I wasn’t screaming on the floor, the A&E nurses thought I was fine.

When they eventually got to me about five hours later my blood pressure was taken by a nurse and then I was asked if I could come back in the morning as the Early Pregnancy Unit (EPU) had closed for the day.

They didn’t think my situation was an emergency. 

As for me, I thought I was maybe having a miscarriage – not that that is anything to dismiss or take lightly either – and I went home.

It was only when I returned with my husband to the EPU the next day and was finally scanned that I was told: ‘This might be an ectopic pregnancy’.

An ectopic pregnancy occurs when a fertilised egg is implanted outside the womb, rather than inside. These pregnancies are never viable and can cause serious health risks if they continue.

In my case, my baby was situated in my left fallopian tube. When I heard this, I was devastated. I couldn’t stop crying.

However, they still weren’t confident in this diagnosis. In the same appointment I was told that this could be a standard miscarriage or that there might even be a chance it was ‘all fine’ and that ‘the baby might be ok’.

Looking back, and knowing what happened next, that sliver of hope hurt the most.

It was decided that my blood would be tested every other day to see if this was in fact a viable pregnancy. This was on a Tuesday.

By Thursday, I was still in pain and bleeding the same dark blood.

Once again I went to the hospital, was scanned, and then told they still weren’t sure what was going on. ‘Call us on Monday,’ the EPU staff said.

I started to leave, but then stopped.

‘No,’ told them. ‘I’m not waiting an entire weekend knowing that something might explode inside of me and I might die. I’m not going home without answers.’

I went back into the EPU reception and demanded another scan, and what followed was, without a doubt, the scariest 24 hours of my life.

This time, a doctor finally confirmed that I was having an ectopic pregnancy, and told me to come in tomorrow for emergency surgery. 

I spent the night not only worried about my baby, but also terrified that I was going to die. It felt like I had a bomb in my body. That night I could literally feel pressure building up inside – and I soon found out why.

‘Your fallopian tube has ruptured and you’re bleeding internally’, the doctor told me in the morning. ‘You need to have surgery or you’ll die.’

I was whisked away and put under anaesthesia so that doctors could conduct what they call a ‘technical management of pregnancy’ – effectively an abortion and the removal of my left fallopian tube. 

When I woke up, the surgeon came to see me. The very first thing she said was: ‘We got that just in time. Any later, and you would have died’. 

I felt vindicated but also angry. She went through the procedure and even showed pictures, which I wish she had done when my husband was there, and not when I had just woken up from the anaesthesia.  

I went home that afternoon but, as the reality of what I’d been through slowly sank in, I felt nothing but pure grief.

All I thought was: ‘My baby’s dead.’ To this day that’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt.

Even when I was fortunate enough to have a third child, my rainbow baby, two years later in 2021, a part of me felt guilty. I wouldn’t have had him if my other baby hadn’t died.

Luckily, over time, my grief has become more blunted and manageable, and I’m OK with knowing that it will never really go away.

This November, it’ll be five years since my ectopic pregnancy and I am glad to be far enough away from it now that I can talk about it openly.

I’m so thankful that I listened to my body and I would urge anyone else to do the same.

Everybody says if you have an ectopic pregnancy you’ll know, because it’s extremely painful. But women are so used to ‘pushing through’ the pain that it can actually be hard to spot.

I caught mine just in time, but I don’t want any other women to have such a close call.

If you are in pain, or if anything doesn’t feel right, don’t assume it’s nothing. Insist on being checked over thoroughly and, if necessary, say to a doctor: ‘No, I’m not leaving’.

You never know, it might just save your life.

As told to Izzie Price

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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