I divorced my husband to save our relationship — but we’re still dating --[Reported by Umva mag]

For many, divorce may seem like the end of the road, but one woman claims it was exactly what she needed to bring her relationship back from the brink.

Anu Verma and Robert Durrant fell in love at first sight while on respective party holidays in Ibiza, and later tied the knot.

But two years on from their wedding, after suffering from postnatal depression, Anu filed for divorce.

Despite dipping her toe into dating again, the 44-year-old couldn’t get her ex-husband out of her head, and the pair’s flame soon rekindled.

Now back together and happier than ever, Anu is refusing to put a ring on it again.

‘I don’t want to get remarried because I don’t need that kind of validation anymore,’ said the Coventry-based mum. ‘The strain of being married and what that means – and other people’s expectations – is what ultimately led to its demise.’

Anu describes her divorce as a ‘complicated time’, which forced her to confront her unresolved feelings.

After trying to move on, she often found herself wishing the person she was dating was Rob, and this helped her realise their connection wasn’t something she could easily forget.

‘It took getting divorced to let us heal and grow as individuals to save our relationship,’ she said.

The couple’s divorce was partially triggered by Anu’s struggles after giving birth to her first child, Noah, in 2018.

The mum, who also has a daughter, started feeling ‘resentment’ toward herself and Rob for the situation they were in. This, coupled with ‘sadness and low self-worth’, led to them drifting apart.

‘At first, our marriage felt like a breath of fresh air,’ Anu explained. ‘But then feelings of lingering insecurity and fear of abandonment started to kick in.’

As they began arguing more, things were ‘no longer healthy’ and the pair decided to part ways.

Anu, who was struggling to come to terms with co-parenting, hired a therapist to cope with her feelings, and was diagnosed with postnatal depression.

As feelings of guilt started to pour in, she reached back out to Rob to make amends. Then, two years after their divorce, they got back together – only this time minus the ring.

‘Rob and I realised that there was still a strong bond between us and decided to give it another chance,’ said Anu.

While Rob isn’t 100% in agreement with Anu’s view that she doesn’t ‘need’ or ‘want’ to be his wife, they’re now better equipped to deal with their emotions and set boundaries where necessary.

Anu said: ‘He knows I don’t follow traditional norms, especially when it comes to marriage. but it’s what he loves about me.

‘I am worried about negative feelings resurfacing if we were to tie the knot again and, for me, that’s the main reason right now that we’re not looking into it.

‘Our marriage broke down in part because of postnatal depression, but mostly because we were not communicating.’

Since reconciling in September 2021, the pair have gone on to have their second child, Eva. And while people are shocked to learn about their past, the couple have avoided judgement from those around them.

‘Because we’re living together with our two kids, people just see us as husband and wife,’ said Anu.

‘It’s not really changed anything – except there’s no legal document binding us together for life.’

The mum added: ‘We’ve had to learn the hard way how crucial it is to be open with each other about our feelings, and to address issues as they arise rather than letting them fester.

‘But most importantly, we’ve learned how to prioritise each other and our relationship, even amidst any chaos.’

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