Filmmaker and historian Nick Deocampo, known for his groundbreaking 1983 documentary *Oliver*, now unveils a deeply personal side with his new poetry collection, *Shards of Desire*. This four-volume work isn’t simply a continuation of his artistic journey; it’s a homecoming, a full-circle exploration of queer identity forged over decades.
The collection offers an intimate glimpse into Deocampo’s life, tracing his experiences growing up gay and navigating the complexities of self-discovery. Each volume is distinct, crafted with unique themes and poetic styles, and thoughtfully paired with a corresponding photograph, creating a multi-layered and evocative experience.
The launch event at Cine Adarna, University of the Philippines Diliman, resonated with a diverse audience – students, educators, film enthusiasts, and members of the queer community – all drawn to the promise of honest and vulnerable storytelling. Deocampo dedicated the work to them, acknowledging the shared journey of self-acceptance and expression.
Growing up in the conservative Catholic environment of Iloilo, Deocampo found solace and inspiration in the works of poets like Emily Dickinson and Walt Whitman. These literary companions helped shape his own “queer sensibility” amidst a challenging landscape. For fifty years, these feelings remained largely private, now offered as a potential source of connection for others.
From a selection of 150 poems, eighty were chosen for publication, representing Deocampo’s most personal and unfiltered thoughts. This collection stands apart from his academic writing, revealing a raw emotional honesty rarely seen in his previous work.
*Shards of Desire* is structured into four distinct volumes, each drawing from different influences and artistic approaches. *Ariel and the Grand Design of the Universe* revisits his young adulthood, detailing a formative relationship with a man named Ariel during his time in Iloilo and Manila.
The second volume, *The Night at Rue du Dragon*, transports readers to 1980s Paris, where Deocampo studied film and experienced a passionate love affair with a young Black man he met at a cinema. This section captures the vibrancy and freedom of that period in his life.
*Phaedrus Poems* represents Deocampo’s most experimental work, blending classical Greek literature with the concise structure of Japanese haiku. This volume boldly explores a love affair between two men, pushing the boundaries of form and content.
Finally, *The Icarus Complex* draws upon the myth of Daedalus and Icarus, offering a poignant reflection on ambition, freedom, and the potential consequences of reaching for the sky. The collection as a whole is a testament to the enduring power of myth and personal narrative.
The publisher, CentralBooks, Inc., highlighted the collection’s “honesty and courage,” recognizing its ability to articulate experiences that are both deeply personal and universally relatable. *Shards of Desire* provides a space for vulnerability, allowing readers to connect with the fragments of a life lived authentically.
