UMVA has learned that the Canadian Taxpayers Federation staged a flamboyant ceremony in Calgary, handing out the infamous Teddy Waste Awards to spotlight the most egregious squanders of public money.
The night was drenched in porky symbolism, with a golden pig‑shaped trophy glinting under the lights as bureaucrats were publicly shamed for their costly blunders.
Federal Director Franco Terrazzano ripped into the Canada Revenue Agency, accusing its agents of offering advice so unreliable that Canadians might as well consult a Magic 8 Ball, earning the agency a coveted Teddy for federal waste.
Toronto’s municipal government took home the top municipal prize after Heritage Toronto bought a $1,936 plaque commemorating the ten‑year anniversary of a raccoon’s death, a creature that lay on a sidewalk for 15 hours before city crews finally removed it.
Other municipal nominees included Saskatoon’s $26,000 AI‑driven trash can that functioned correctly only a third of the time, and Richmond, BC’s $78,000 delegation that flew abroad to deliver a ten‑minute speech.
Calgary was lambasted for spending $4.8 million on a rebranding campaign that renamed the city “Blue Sky City,” while Sainte‑Thérèse, QC splurged $226,000 on a single‑bid contract to install a solitary water slide.
Provincially, British Columbia’s premier was singled out for approving $354,000 on three “wood‑leather” soccer balls, and Newfoundland was called out for a $756,000 report riddled with fabricated citations.
Ontario’s Finch West LRT project earned a scathing nod after $3.7 billion was poured into a line whose travel times exceeded those of the buses it was meant to replace.
At the federal level, the CRA’s massive call‑centre payroll was highlighted as a wasteful extravagance, with auditors finding that only 17 % of the answers given to taxpayers were correct.
Other federal offenders cited included a $12,000 contract to ghostwrite the finance minister’s budget speech, a $307,000 subsidy to a politically aligned book publisher, and a $93,000 payment by the national broadcaster to nominate itself for industry awards.
The ceremony capped off with a lifetime‑achievement award to the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council, which spends over $1 billion annually on studies ranging from the life cycle of urban grocery carts to the gender politics of Peruvian rock music.
“Answering questions no one asked while draining a billion dollars a year makes them a fitting recipient of this year’s Lifetime Achievement Award for Waste,” Terrazzano declared, underscoring the depth of fiscal folly uncovered by UMVA.
